Girls Just wanna haave fun at CeCeSar.com
Until you learn these 2 simple basics, there's a good chance she's going to run out of excuses and just fake her own death to avoid your dong...
NEVER ASSUME A WOMEN IS TURNED ON AS EASY AS YOU ARE
For the most part, men are a pretty easy machine to start. Show them some boobs, and they're good to go. Unfortunately for us, we can't expect any reaction other than laughter or disappointment when they just whip out there cocks and exclaim, baby! You're about to take a cruise on the Fuck Boat!" Women are far more complicated than that, Do your research !!!
Make Sure You're Not Smelly
I know you don't think you smell, but sometimes you do. Specifically the crack part of you. It doesn't have to be after a hard day's work, harvesting stink berries from your funk plantation. Hell, we've all had an occasional day where we decided, "I'm not getting in the shower right now. I haven't done anything today just hanging around the house. One day won't kill me."
The problem is that even if you haven't done any work, you've still been sitting on your ass all day, generating crack heat. crack bacteria. And unless you wipe your ass with the same deodorant that you put on your armpits, it's going to generate some crack whiff. Add in the fact that you're guys, and love to play the occasional butthole trumpet and pretty much always working up a good case of butt sauce.
Warning: I'm about to tell you the most blunt, unfiltered, raw thing I've ever said to another human. Much worse than what I already have. But it needs to be said!!! Not all guys will have this problem, but after telling you about it, many of you are going to be shocked.
The next time you get bad gas, feel free to bust out a few good ones.
Then after you've spent most of your ammunition in the fart war, go to the bathroom and without taking a crap wipe your ass. Don't throw the toilet paper away just yet.
Now, I want you to do two things: 1) Look at it. Some of you won't see anything at all, and that means you are probably born of supernatural seed. But some of you will immediately double check to make sure you didn't literally shit your pants. But wait, it gets worse. 2) Whether you see anything on that toilet paper or not, slowly start inching it toward your face and see how close you get before you stop yourself and say,
"What in the unholy fuck is wrong with me that I'm doing this on the suggestion of a Girl who writes a blog?
The reason I asked you to do that is because before you went into that bathroom, if your girlfriend were to have intercepted you, pushed you into your bedroom and told you she was about to give you the blowjob of your life right there on the spot, you wouldn't have stopped her. And after that test, I'm willing to bet that her head would have been a lot closer to your ass than that toilet paper got to your face. Knowing all that, try to estimate how many times she'd be willing to go back to that spot if she knew that every time she did, she'd be met with the aroma of shitsweat.
No matter what number you came up with, it was too high!!!!