Learning to trust our gut more than the opinions of others turns up the volume on whispers of intuition. Awakening to our gut feelings, personal power and self-love restores the wholeness left behind in pursuit of external sources of happiness.
Spend time with your feelings
write down how you feel about your job, relationships, house, health and whats going on in the world.
Build and strengthen feeling receptors
Choose one feeling and spend the day with it. Notice every time you see that feeling expressed in yourself or someone else. Don't judge it or form an opinion about it, just notice.
Pay attention to what you're feeling. Don't worry about what you will do with what you feel or your thoughts about those feelings. Just receive them. You can decide later what to do with them.
Maintain a flexible "Thermostat"
When you want to freak out or shut down, check in with your feelings instead. Be present , engaged, and genuine. The feeling and associated intuition need your attention and the present is the time to attend to them.
One of the greatest things in life that one can do is find different amazing ways to help others and make a difference in the world. Whether it is a small or big commitment, it is a commitment nonetheless and you are making a difference one step at a time.
IN YOUR CIRCLE
The easiest of ways to help others is to start with your own circle! This means helping those you know with their struggles and problems by giving your advice, supporting them or even by just being there for them. Good friendship is hard to find these days and something as small as listening and lending a helping hand can mean and help more than you think.
IN YOUR COMMUNITY
You can also start helping locally in your community. This can be at a church or synagogue, helping the homeless around your community by providing leftover food or change, or anything else you see fitting. There is absolutely no help too small.
JOIN AN ORGANIZATION
Another great way to help is by joining an organization. Find one that you believe in, like helping abused children, gays and lesbians, or those fighting addiction. You can do so by joining a hotline as an advisor or perhaps contact a physical organization. Do your research and volunteer.
SPONSOR A CHILD
Sponsoring a child in need is easier than you think. Sponsoring does not mean adopting, as some people may assume. It simply means supporting a child by paying a monthly fee to help supply these children with the proper care, food, clothing, medication, and other things they need to live healthy. For as little as $20-$40 a month, you can truly help a child and change a life.
Along with helping your community, you can also volunteer at local hospitals, homes, and other places to help patients have an easier time with whatever they may be going through. A lot of these things help you as much as you are helping someone else by opening your eyes and appreciating what you have.
A great way to give and help others can be by giving to charity. Now, if you can’t afford it, you don’t need to donate a large amount. Keep in mind donating does not limit yourself to cash or money only! You can do something as simple as clean out your closet and donate old clothing to those in need. You can also donate canned foods that you have laying in your kitchen. You’d be surprised how much people need the things that we take for granted.
A kind of unusual way to help others with their struggles is to create a lifestyle blog or vlog on whatever issue you’re passionate about. This can be a self-help type of blog, or a blog to help those who have family issues or are simply lost and frustrated. Whatever the case, your words - and even your experiences - may help someone who really needs it at the moment!
I hope these suggestions on ways to help others motivate you to go out and make a difference. What are some ways you like to help make a change?
Don't wait any longer, make a change today !
After the holidays, Valentine’s Day is next on the horizon. You’re single, lonely, sexually frustrated, and generally blue. The whole world seems to be celebrating love’s special day with chocolate and roses and you’re looking forward to an evening with your cat. A friend sympathizes. (Of course, she’s engaged, so what does she know?) Somehow the conversation turns to the idea of “friends with benefits” otherwise known as having sex with someone you aren't emotionally entangled with and the idea doesn't seem as far-fetched as it once did. After all, we are now as free as men to explore their sexuality without encumbrances.
Why shouldn’t you spice up your life with a regular, no-strings-attached booty call? Maybe that guy you’ve known since high school, who’s held your hand through breakups and who has turned to you for advice about what women want could be the answer to at least some of your problems. Why not give it a try?
Proceed with caution. Although the idea of a no-strings-attached sexual romp with a good buddy when you’re feeling lonely sounds like a great idea, there isn’t much in the way of data to show that most women can pull it off. The truth is that while some women can manage a FWB arrangement, others simply can’t. FWB requires a separation between love and sex that can be very hard for many women to sustain over time. There are good reasons why these arrangements often don’t last. There are reasons why the price of a few sexual encounters can be the loss of a very long friendship.
Why Can’t We Just Have Sex Without Emotions?
Part of the reason is grounded in classic behavioral psychology. Remember reinforcers? Give a pigeon a treat every time he pecks a bar and he really wants to peck that bar. You and your FWB hung out as friends because of shared interests in politics, Proust, and baseball, not because you saw him as date material. You know he cheated on every woman he ever dated. You know that he has major hangups about commitment. You know there’s a trail of emotional wreckage in his wake. Before you started sleeping with him, you ignored his flaws as a romantic partner. But now – now the powerful, positive feelings of orgasm may make all that seem like small stuff. Orgasm is a powerful reinforcer of behavior for both sexes. It’s fun. It feels great. When paired with a particular person over time, it can make a casual sexual partner look good, very, very good.
Looking good can start to look like love, whether the person is really appropriate or not. You might start convincing yourself that with you, he’ll be different; that a couple of people who share such a powerful connection are meant for each other. Mention this to the guy, and he’s likely to be surprised and upset. He figured you knew what you were getting into. Why would you think he was going to change?
Another reason is biological: Both men and women release oxytocin, the hormone and neurotransmitter, during orgasm. Oxytocin calms us down, soothes our anxieties, and mellows us out. It’s also a key biological factor that bonds people to each other. Some research shows that it is associated with the ability to maintain healthy relationships. This is the hormone that is released during childbirth. It also surges when women nurse their babies. Sometimes called the “cuddle hormone,” it’s what helps parents bond with their babies and women bond with their mates. It’s often what makes a woman start to see a FWB arrangement as meaning more. She bonds. He doesn’t. One day she whispers, “Maybe I love you.” He’s outraged. He’s bummed. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This wasn’t the deal! Tell that to your hormones.
Some of it seems to be evolutionarily hardwired. Where men seem to be engineered to sow their “wild oats,” women have, at least historically, been focused on finding a stable mate and settling down to the business of making a family. The tension between those two forces is at the core of romantic love. When the male singles out a particular woman as the object of his emotional and sexual attraction, it’s powerful stuff. When a woman sees that man as the person who can partner with her to make a family and a life, she reciprocates with equal ardor. (There’s that oxytocin again!) However antiquated those tendencies may seem, they’ve guaranteed the survival of the species and are unlikely to die easily. If he’s still “sowing” but your more basic self is into nesting, there’s going to be a big problem with your FWB arrangement.
Some of it is about how you were raised. Times may be changing but they haven’t changed evenly or universally. The double standard still exists for the majority of the world. Only a few generations ago in America, women who had sex before marriage were seen as “loose” and immoral. Men who had sex before marriage were seen as “scoring.” Then came the ’60s, birth control, and sexual liberation. Yes? Well – sometimes and for some. There are still many families that promote sexual abstinence and churches and organizations that celebrate chastity pledges for young girls. There are many places and cultures in the world that place high value on female virginity.
If you were raised with such values, they may well argue with the part of you that wants to explore your sexuality freely and with no strings attached. Often, the resolution is to fall in love with the FWB as a way to justify your actions. After all, you persuade yourself, if you are going to marry the guy, it’s okay to have had sex. The solution falls apart if he’s not there with you.
We live in a time when TV dramas (even comedies) and movies tout sex among unmarried couples and friends as a norm and FWB arrangements as a solution to sexual frustration. But as with most things, what’s a good story may not play out so well in life. Can women engage in a FWB relationship without becoming yet another romantic casualty statistic? Yes. Some can. But it’s important to recognize that even in the 2000s it is generally more challenging for women to keep it up than it is for men. Cruise the Internet for advice on FWB and you’ll find multiple “rules” for keeping a relationship merely sexual:
Many believe love is a sensation that magically generates when Mr. or Ms. Right appears. No wonder so many people are single!
Consciously or unconsciously, they believe love is a sensation (based on physical and emotional attraction) that magically, spontaneously generates when Mr. or Ms. Right appears. And just as easily, it can spontaneously degenerate when the magic "just isn't there" anymore. You fall in love, and you can fall out of it.
The key word is passivity. Erich Fromm, in his famous treatise "The Art of Loving," noted the sad consequence of this misconception: "There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet, which fails so regularly, as love.
So what is love ― real, lasting love?
Love is the result of appreciating another's goodness...
Love is a Choice
If love comes from appreciating goodness, it needn't just happen , you can make it happen. Love is active. You can create it. Just focus on the good in another person (and everyone has some). If you can do this easily, you'll love easily.
By focusing on the good, you can love almost anyone
Now that you're feeling so warmly toward the entire human race, how can you deepen your love for someone? The way God created us, actions affect our feelings most. For example, if you want to become more compassionate, thinking compassionate thoughts may be a start.
Opening Yourself to Others
The effect of genuine, other-oriented giving is profound. It allows you into another person's world and opens you up to perceiving his or her goodness. At the same time, it means investing part of yourself in the other, enabling you to love this person as you love yourself.
The more you give, the more you love
Many years ago, I met a woman whom I found very unpleasant. So I decided to try out the "giving leads to love" theory. One day I invited her for dinner. A few days later I offered to help her with a personal problem. On another occasion I read something she'd written and offered feedback and praise. Today we have a warm relationship. The more you give, the more you love. This is why your parents (who've given you more than you'll ever know) undoubtedly love you more than you love them, and you, in turn, will love your own children more than they'll love you.
---Because deep, intimate love emanates from knowledge and giving, it comes not overnight but over time which nearly always means after marriage. The intensity many couples feel before marrying is usually great affection boosted by commonality, chemistry, and anticipation. These may be the seeds of love, but they have yet to sprout. On the wedding day, emotions run high, but true love should be at its lowest, because it will hopefully always be growing, as husband and wife give more and more to each other.
A woman I know once explained why she's been happily married for 25 years. "A relationship has its ups and downs," she told me. "The downs can be really low ― and when you're in one, you have three choices: Leave, stay in a loveless marriage, or choose to love your spouse."
Recent research shows that, while men can technically make their penises bigger through a process called the “traction method,” it’s not exactly realistic—they’d have to wear a penile extender for four to six hours a day for a total of four months. The much easier option? Following one of these tips...
Turn Up the Heat
“One of the things that contributes to a guy’s size is the amount of blood that flows into the penis and how hard he is.
The more turned on he is, the bigger he’ll feel inside of you. So take your time with the foreplay and try one of these super hot oral sex positions...
lying on your back is the most surefire way to get off from oral, say most experts. But if you've got time to explore, test out one of these saucier oral sex positions.
1. Fully Clothed
POSE: Just hike up your skirt or dress (sorry, this won't work with pants) and sit on the edge of something while he kneels between your legs. No need even to pull down your undies—just push them aside so he can get to work. The immediacy and spontaneity of it will feel super sexy.
PERK: You can take it out of the bedroom to the couch, a kitchen chair, his home office...anywhere with a seat. Also, this position may be easier on his neck than your lying on your back, which can help him go longer, explains Cooper.
2. Sideways 69
POSE: Instead of doing the more traditional (and honestly, more clumsy) version—where one of you lies on top of the other—lie on your sides. It is way comfier and gives him better access.
PERK: It's bad...in a good way. The hottest thing about this move is that it feels down and dirty, says Hollander.
3. Standing Up
POSE: Have him lie across a bench on his back, while you stand over him.
PERK: From this vantage point, you'll have an amazing view of his body—it will be pretty obvious how much he's enjoying himself. If you feel like being generous, you can lean forward and use your hands to tease him a bit too.
4. You on Top
POSE: While he lies on the bed, straddle his face and kneel, placing your privates where they need to be. Don't stare at the ceiling--look directly at him. Ain't no turn-on like eye contact when he's going to town.
PERK: He still does most of the work, but you get to take the reins a bit by tilting your pelvis and moving closer or farther away for optimal orgasm pressure.
Do Some Down-There Exercises
By flexing your kegel muscles during sex, you’ll create more friction—which means you’ll feel your man more intensely during the action. And for even more moves that will amp up your pleasure, try these exercise for hotter sex...
Low Side-to-Side Lunge
Lunges boost flexibility, so he'll be able to find your G-spot in almost any position.
Do the move: Stand with your feet spread wide, about twice shoulder-width apart, your feet facing straight ahead. Bend slightly at the waist, and clasp your hands in front of your chest. Shift your weight over to your right leg as you push your hips backward and lower your body by dropping your hips and bending your right knee. Your lower right leg should remain nearly perpendicular to the floor. Your left foot should remain flat on the floor (A). Without pausing, reverse the movement and raise yourself back to a standing position. Next, repeat with the left side (B). Do 10 to 20 reps on each side, alternating back and forth.
Standing Hip Thrust
The name says it all—stronger thrusts, better orgasms.
Do the move: Step forward with one foot so that your feet are a couple of feet apart. Keep your toes facing forward and your knees slightly bent (A). Gently push your pelvis forward until you feel a very mild stretch in your hips. Although this may seem too subtle, don't overdo it: The hip flexors are attached inside the legs in such a way that it takes very little effort to stretch them (B). Hold the stretch for 30 seconds, then reverse leg positions and repeat.
Learning how to angle your back in just the right way will make it much easier for your partner to stimulate your clitoris.
Do the move: Kneel on the floor with your hands at your sides. Resist the urge to sit back and rest your weight on your heels. Your back should be straight and your knees bent at a 90-degree angle (A). Keeping your head and spine in line with your thighs, slowly lean back a few inches (B). Hold for 3 seconds, then return to the starting position. Do 5 to 10 reps.
This hip raise targets your pelvic muscles for an even bigger O.
Do the move: Lie on the floor, arms at your sides, knees bent, and heels on the floor (A). Lift your hips off the floor until your knees, hips, and shoulders form a straight line (B). Do 20 reps.
Your lower-back muscles are full of sensitive nerve endings—which can seriously increase your pleasure if you work to make them stronger.
Do the move: Lie flat on your back with your legs bent, feet flat on the floor, and arms at your sides (A). Draw your knees up to your chest and gently grab your legs just below the knees. Slowly pull both knees toward your chest as far as you can comfortably go, keeping your back flat on the floor at all times (B). Hold the stretch for 2 to 3 seconds, then slowly lower your legs. Repeat the stretch for 10 reps.
This'll loosen up your entire body, so you'll feel all of those oh-so-good tingling sensations everywhere.
Do the move: Stand with your legs straight, feet hip-width apart (A). Bend at the waist and place your hands on the floor(B). Keeping your legs straight, walk your hands forward while keeping your abs and lower back braced. Then take tiny steps to walk your feet back to your hands (C). Do six reps.
Strong vaginal muscles up your odds for an orgasm—and luckily, that's what this move is all about.
Do the move: Stand with your feet wider than shoulder-width apart, toes pointed out and hands on your hips (A). Slowly bend your knees until your thighs are parallel to the floor (B). Press up through your heels to stand. Do 12 to 15 reps.
Encourage Him to Lay Off the Solo Sex
When a guy hasn't masturbated for a couple of days, there’ll be more blood flow to his penis when he is stimulated again which means he’ll feel bigger than ever. Of course, this gets a little tricky because you probably can’t just ask him to not masturbate without explaining why and hurting his feelings. If you two are pretty open with each other sexually, make a playful comment like, “You feel so full right now , you must not have been looking at your computer for a few days.” Or, if that seems like a bit much, you could always turn on the Seinfeld episode where they see who can go the longest without masturbating and then suggest that you two try something similar.
Bring a Toy Into the Bedroom
Try something like the Mahana (also known as the We-Vibe) to solve your size issue on the sly. “The vibrator will also be filling the vagina, so that’s going to make it easier to feel him more fully. If Size isn't the issue then enjoy the Dual Pleasure